Today I was minding my own business, driving to Walgreens to get some Cheddar Cheese Chips, and I happened to look out the window to my right and saw this dude sitting on somebody's front porch with a hockey mask and a knife. It freaked me all the way out!

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Seeing that made my heart jump, like, why is that man sitting on a porch looking like he's waiting for somebody to step out the front door so he could shank 'em with that knife. My mouth furled and I felt my eyebrows turn inward like Bert from Sesame Street.

I'm glad I didn't feel the urge to grab my cell phone and dial 9-1-1! That would have been quite embarrassing.

Could you have imagined what that phone call would have been like?

Emergency Operator: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?

Me: Yeah, there's a murderous-looking dude sitting on the front porch of somebody's house on Summitview Ave! Y'all better get up there quick. He looks like he's ready to pounce!

O: Ma'am, please describe the person you saw sitting on the porch.

M: Yeah, he's kind of tall, wearing a Jason Voorhies face mask. And he has a knife with blood on it. He wasn't even moving, he was just sitting there like one of those Halloween props you put outside to frighten the kids.

O: Ma'am, are you sure that wasn't what you just described, a Halloween prop?

M: I don't know! That's what I'm calling you for! Somebody might be minutes away from getting killedt!

O: Killed by a fake Jason Voorhies?

M: Yeah, y'all better go check to make sure!

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Whew! Some of these neighbors are doing the MOST with these realistic Halloween decorations. And this is why I don't like people going overboard. You are faking out goofballs like me who fall for the okie-doke! 👺🎃

Please tell your neighbors to cut it out. I almost had a heart attack in the car! 😂