Bottom of the Barrel: The Worst Movies That Were Set in Washington
Not every movie can be an Oscar-winner, but what did Washington do to deserve this?
Plenty of movies have been set or filmed in Washington. For every First Blood, however, there is a dud. Actually, you know what? There honestly aren't that many good movies set in Washington. It's really just First Blood and Sleepless in Seattle. I actually thought there were a few more good films than that, unless you count Free Willy or The Marine 3 or The Marine 4. Whatever. First Blood makes up for all of the duds. It's so good, the rest of the Rambo films that completely miss the point of the initial movie can't bring it down.
You'd think Washington would be a perfect setting for a movie franchise. You've got the Puget Sound, San Juan Islands, Seattle, obviously. But Tri-Cities, Spokane, or Yakima would be a great setting as well. I've always thought eastern Washington was one bad week away from becoming Mad Max.
So of all of the bad Washington movies, which ones rank as the supreme of the garbage?
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
God, I remember being forced to watch this when I was a teenager. I managed to turn my brain off, but I was numb for all the wrong reasons. I think this was the day I accidentally punched a light pole and really hurt my hand. Of the Twilight franchise, this is easily the worst.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Look at this, just look at it. Who designed this? Are they running? What's wrong with Kristen Stewart's head? It's the way her head does not look like it's on a body that's running, yet the feet are doing the Austin Powers side-kick-run thing. This poster screams "graphic design is my passion," and the movie is even worse. Instead of one steaming turd, the movie studio cut this into two turds. Yay.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Look at those faces. They're looking straight into you as if to say, "You know you can't help but watch this trash, right?" By this point in the series' release, the amount I cared for the whole franchise had been eclipsed.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1
This is a movie about pregnancy and vampire babies and it's nearly two hours long. Oh my god. My heart goes out to Forks, Washington and all the people living there that deal with the fans of this series on a daily basis.
You don't have to be a good movie to be a cult classic and that's what Hackers is.
You thought I was done with this crapshow of a movie series? Guess again! I'm still hanging on to 14 years of anger towards a completely soulless attempt to rip money away from late 2000's teens everywhere. Even by 2008's standards, this movie looks terrible. It's got a bleached-out color pallette that looks like those terrible selfies kids took for their MySpace profile pictures. I feel so bad for Robert Pattinson, he's done some really good work in indie films and he's about to be Batman, but all people can remember is this terrible movie and its even worse sequels. Go watch The Lighthouse or Good Time before you pass judgment on Rob-Pat. Nobody deserves to be associated with this dumpster fire. If you unironically like the Twilight series as an adult, you deserve to cringe so hard you pull a muscle.