Life in the Evergreen State is pretty amazing. Washington has much to offer anyone with varied climates, topography and populations. You want ocean? We've got that. You want desert? We've got that too. How about mountains? No problem. Perhaps flat, wheat-covered land as far as the eye can see? Done.

Maybe you prefer the city life - well, Seattle is one of America's great cities. More of a small town sort? How about Cashmere or Moxee or Naches? All great places to be and be from. But just to be on the safe side, before someone decides to move here: - we present The 5 Things We Never Do in Washington.

LET SOMEONE PUMP OUR GAS

Photo Illustration by Sean Gallup/Getty Images

Yeah, those days are gone for Washingtonians. I faintly remember the gas station attendant asking if my dad would like him to check the oil and then wash the windows while we waited for the tank to fill. No muss, no fuss. No more. All it takes is a trip to Oregon and when I forget myself and hop out of the car to get the pumping started, the attendant acts as though I'm committing a crime. Hmmm, maybe I am.

TAKE THE SUBWAY

Screenshot Courtesy of YouTube / Luftschlange

Of course, we have the Light Rail system in Seattle and the always perplexing Seattle Center Monorail but no subterranean transit system like New York and London and Paris do. C'est la vie.

WATCH A LOCAL NBA TEAM PLAY BASKETBALL

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This one can get some fans really riled-up even now. That midnight departure to OKC and Seattle lost the one-time NBA Championship franchise. Howard Schultz of Starbucks fame was the owner that let that happen and I have friends who still won't buy a single drop of espresso from Starbucks.

WORRY ABOUT HURRICANES

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We just don't get them here. So, Grandpa kicks back in the trailer court with confidence.

DRINK DECAF COFFEE

Mak Daddy Coffee Roasters

Now, I'm sure there are exceptions to this and my 'prone to nervousness' co-worker drinks what he calls 'coffee-flavored-water'. For the most part however, Washington is ESPRESSO COUNTRY. Major coffee companies from our region have infiltrated everyday life of billions of people around the globe. Here at home, there is a coffee shop every 26 feet (estimate). We all have our favorite drinks too.

There a PLENTY of other things that we never do here in the great State of Washington and I've only scratched the surface here. If you'd like to add to the list for a future update to this article, I'd appreciate it. Just message me from the station app.

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Oh, and if you're thinking of retiring here -- check out this list first: