Every year I graciously remind my friends on Facebook what costume not to dress up for Halloween, in particular any racist (including Blackface) or sexist costumes (this should be a NO BRAINER, fyi).

Meanwhile, over the past few years, I've heard men complaining about ladies' choices of "sexy" costumes for Halloween. While I completely disagree with any man trying to tell a woman to do anything, in this case, they do have a great point. I'm jumping on the "Don't Do That!" train, because some of these Halloween costumes are getting out of hand - LADIES*!

I am here to help be that angel on your shoulder so that you don't try any of these gross "sexy" costume suggestions this year (or any other year).

*The not-so-sexy costumes discussed (more like, disgust) on this site/page should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional, legal, literal, spiritual or moral advice.

  • 1

    Sexy Zit

    Pimples are disgusting. Some people do like to watch videos of them being popped. You are a special kind of person, indeed, but please don't dress up as a sexy pimple for Halloween. NEXT!

  • 2

    Sexy Woman Texting On The Toilet

    Just because this is something that you do on the daily, it doesn't mean that it will make for a great Halloween costume. You could dress up as a toilet or even as a woman who is texting, but please do not combine them both. Pee-yew.

  • 3

    Sexy Yelp Restaurant Reviewer

    If I had a dollar for every time I've heard someone say "I just left them a bad Yelp review!", I'd be able to afford a really big combo meal at the new Yakima Popeyes. Being a food critic is all fun and games until you decide to be a sexy one for Halloween. Have you no shame?

  • 4

    Sexy Angry Customer Service Rep

    Anger is never sexy (unless you are making up with your sexy lover). When someone has been waiting on hold to stupid watered-down "jazz" music for ten minutes, only to be transferred to your technical support line on the day that you happen to have a very bad attitude, the LAST thing you would be considered is "sexy". Just hang up on your sexy call center customer relations costume dreams.

  • 5

    Sexy Pissed Off Wife (Couples Costume)

    Everyone knows that when a wife is ticked off at her husband, he has to go sleep in the doghouse (or on the sofa). While being a wife can be sexy and being a couple can be sexy, being a sexy angry significant other is frowned upon in certain circles. Even if your husband agrees to be the "Sexy Pissed Off Husband", people will never guess what your costume is supposed to be, and they will absolutely have their tongues gossiping about your marital troubles. Poor idea, poor execution!