Don’t regret your 20s: meaningful advice from an older generation

When I was in my 20's, there were a lot of things I believed that turned out to be wrong. It turns out that I didn't have my life figured out by the time I turned 30 and that, despite that, I continued to live on. I actually do look good with short hair. And it's okay to walk away from a toxic relationship, even if you love the person that's hurting you.

We're not invincible

We're often told that we think we're invincible when we're young. I don't think that's necessarily true - many of us have had our sense of invulnerability challenged by the time we reach adulthood. But as young adults, we are still often naive, unaware of dangers around us and the long-term consequences of our actions.

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Getting the right advice is hard

If you're lucky, you'll have a good family - or older friend or sibling - capable of passing on some useful life advice. Even when we don't want to hear it, sometimes the advice of those that care about us can be something we can anchor ourselves to when life gets chaotic and confusing.

I wasn't so lucky. My mother told me to not make the same mistakes she did. When I asked her what those mistakes were - genuinely wanting to learn - she repeated, "Just don't make the same mistakes I did." Over twenty years later, I'm still left guessing what she meant. Was it about who she married, or when? Choosing to have a kid? Not going to college?

My father on the other hand was more than happy to admit he was a "dumb kid" and would frequently spell out all of the times in life he'd screwed up. It wasn't direct advice, but it did give me some clues - along with all of the mistakes I watched my parents make along the way as I was growing up.

Of course, when you're struggling to know what's right, you can always ask the Internet. Just weigh those answers with a good heaping of skepticism.

Words of advice for young adults

I'm in my 40s now, and looking back at my 20s I'm filled with a lot of sympathy for myself - and I also cringe. There are mistakes I made that would have changed the course of my life for the better. Of course, I didn't know better - even when I thought I did.

My advice to those of you who are young adults, just in your 20s - or even who just graduated a few months ago from high school - are these three things:

• Put yourself first. Of course you should be more selfless when others need your help. But others don't need you to delay or give up your dreams, or do something just because someone wants you to.
• Try your best to take care of your health. "Stay healthy" is an easy phrase but it's hard to do, especially when caring for your health can be costly - not to mention the challenges of access and ability. Do what you can for yourself, get help when you can for what you can't do on your own.
• Throw out what doesn't make you better. You've probably heard of Marie Kondo's iconic advice about asking if something sparks joy. I think the phrase means so much because those who have embraced that philosophy - myself included - have found that their life is so much better without the baggage. If there's toxic people in your life, end those relationships. If your job is a drag, look for something better. You are free to do whatever you want in life, even if it's what you're told not to do, even if it makes people you love mad. Again - put yourself first.

Recently on Reddit, someone asked the question: "What is something people in their 20s might not realize will significantly impact them as they reach their 40s?" I thought a lot of the answers were great advice - thanks to my own hindsight - so let me share with you some of the best wisdom Reddit had to offer.