Ugh. Those dreadful yardsale signs are everywhere this time of year because it's spring time.

I realize that yard sales make most people jump with joy and glee, yet I, on the other hand, frown in disapproval. Perhaps it is because my parents never hosted yard sales of their own, so I didn't get that first-hand experience seeing the pay off (pun not intended).

Maybe it's because the few times I have helped friends do their yard sales, they didn't really get much business. I feel like having your own yard sale is a waste of time unless you have some really good stuff to sell, of which I do not. All my stuff is pure junk!

I did love watching that show, Trading Spaces, where the decorators would help families declutter their homes by throwing out all their unwanted "treasures" in a yard sale, but that was on HGTV or TLC or whatever. They know how to make anything (including yard sales) look glamorous!

Here are the top five reasons why I hate yard sales so much:

  • 1

    THE MONEY FACTOR

    I am always too broke to have cash to go "yard sailing". I might need to ask for a raise at work. (Ok, so this has absolutely nothing to do with you or your yard sale; don't mind me, I'm just doing my general grumbling and complaining.) I'm now moving on to reason number two that I hate your yard sale.

  • 2

    THE CLUTTER FACTOR

    Look, I am over here trying to get rid of my OWN clutter. What makes you think I want to take home some of YOUR SH!$%@&!

  • 3

    THE 'CASH' FACTOR

    Maybe if people who have yard sales would accept payment by phone apps, like PayPal and Cash App, then I would be more inclined to go yard sales. Even if they had a Square, that would be great because then I wouldn't have to hunt down an ATM just to buy your used stuff!

  • 4

    THE LATE FACTOR

    I have to wake up super early every day for work, so the LAST thing I want to do on my weekends is to wake up at the crack of dusk and drive around in the dark looking for the address number of your yard sale. I like to sleep in on Saturdays and Sundays, so maybe you all should start thinking about having your yard sales later in the day.

  • 5

    THE 'TOO LATE' FACTOR

    This reason is related to the last one: since I hate waking up so early in the morning, by the time I do make it to your yard sale, I've already missed out on all the good stuff. UGH!

    *throws a fit, crawls back into hermit crab shell, turns on "Trading Spaces"*