The Night Before Christmas – Tired Morning Radio Guy Style
(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore the author of the original…by d.j.ettl)

It was the night before Christmas as I left the station
I was headed out at last for a few days of vacation

The commercials were recorded, the weather done too
(It always feels great when the work day is through)

The rest of the DJs were live on the air
as I turned off the lights and booby trapped my chair

cuz people take stuff when you're not there to defend it
and this is the only way I can be sure to end it

But I digress, Then I head for the door
and wonder what G-M St. Nick has in store

Will he bring us more callers to help make the show?
Will he bring us the cash so we can give away more dough?

Great guests and great sponsors and breaking news too
and important information that we'll share with you

along with more humor and Dave's jokes -- so lame
but you know that without them the show's just not the same

So radio Saint Nick, what will it be,
what's in that great sack for Lance Tormey and me?

As I locked up the front door and that's no easy matter
from the satellite rooftop there came such a clatter

I raced to the dishes to add up the cost
of what it would mean if the programs were lost

and there in the cables and wires I found
a guy in a red suit in a heap on the ground

it was radio Saint Nick's elfen-like proxy
a digital wiz with a journalist's moxie

Thinkstock

He said my name's Taylor and have I stuff for you
but before you can get it I’ll need a blog or two

And he called out the DJs, 'cuz he knew them by name
He said he had answers for the fall ratings game

Now Lyons, now Hendo, now Reesha and Riggs
I love what you do, those are the shows that I digs

and Michelle and Gunner, I love you guys too
And I can't say enuff 'bout the K-I-T crew

Peter and D-Rez I can't forget you
if you guys were gone Townsquare would be through

So he opened his pack and said see what I got
I leaned in to look and then felt something hot

A full cup of coffee ran into my lap
It was starting to slip as I slipped into a nap

Falling asleep on the job one more time
It's those dang early mornings, a sleep robbing crime

The whole thing was a dream, and I leaped to my feet
to clean up the control board and mop up my seat.

Another dodged bullet, the electronics were fine
(but between me and you it's just a matter of time)

A Morning Show host suffers sleep deprivation
As he watches for news of the town, state and nation

But I leave once again and this time it's for real
(and the pain in my lap I'm really starting to feel)

so I vow to myself, both solemn and deep
this entire vacation will be nothing but sleep!

Merry Christmas to listeners and sponsors and friends
For this is the way this little poem endz….zzzzzzzzzzzzz…