Another day, another incredible casting possibility dangled in our face before being cruelly snatched away by our unjust universe. Today, it’s Beauty and the Beast. The role: Gaston. The star: Idris Elba.

While chatting with PEOPLE’s Jess Cagle about movies, Elba went on a bit of a tangent discussing his school theater career, and how he starred in a few musicals. He played Big Jule in a production of Guys and Dolls (he even sings, like, a bar of one of the songs, for which I thank whatever higher power is up there), and even expressed an interest in the Guys and Dolls movie that was floating around a while ago. But the real story here is that he auditioned for the role of villainous Gaston in this year’s Beauty and the Beast, and there’s a tape.

You know, I auditioned for Beauty and the Beast. I really did, for Gaston! I called! I called, I said “I want in!” And they were like “Eh, you know, uh, umm, well, okay.” So, somewhere they have a tape of me singing.

Would it be possible to file a FOIA with Disney for that tape? The people need it. It’s cruel and unusual punishment for Disney to withhold that from us.

It’s clear that the movie was pretty much going to a straight-from-the-animated-film look, and Luke Evans certainly looks almost exactly like the original film’s Gaston (Elba says he’s not bitter that Evans got the part). But, boy, can you imagine Idris Elba going full-throttle into a role as fun as that? Maybe he didn’t get the part because he’d be impossible for any gal to resist.

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